Christmas for Halloween

       Why do stores already have their Christmas items in? WHY? Why are people playing Christmas music? THIS IS NOT NATURAL.Tweet this! It's wrong. It's against the natural order of everything we all have grown accustomed to. Pumpkin spice season is not over yet...it hasn't even started! Black Friday starts the Thursday before thanksgiving! I'm starting to think that the turkey population is behind this conspiracy to erase thanksgiving all together, but they won't be completely successful in saving their species because now people are just saving the turkey for Christmas! If it weren't for the Facebook calendar updates, i'm beginning to think that everyone would forget what season it even is. DO YOU SEE SNOW ON THE GROUND MRS. GLENDA? no? Then PUT AWAY THE INFLATABLE SANTA. It's 80 degrees outside.

       I don't want to hear your crappy Christmas music in Kmart until well after December 1st, and it's not because I am some re-incarnation of the scrooge, I just want my holidays to go in their natural order. And what about Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving is to holidays as Jeb Bush was to the republican primaries...everyone but your grandma forgot that they were still there. It seems like this process has been gradual. When I was a kid, Black Friday started Friday morning at 6 am, and then gradually it got earlier and earlier until some sadistic stores decided to open at 8 freaking pm on thanksgiving night. Now, because of mandatory work schedules on black Friday, many families celebrate thanksgiving the day before. There is no sensible explanation for this mess, and honestly, the turkey conspiracy is all I can find to rationally explain this phenomenon. Either that, or people just really love Christmas.

       In summary, PUT AWAY THE SNOW MACHINE WALMART, IT'S STILL OCTOBER! Tweet This!