How to cure exhaustion: How To Adult

I just started my first job after high school. I worked for 6 months at a McRestaraunt, and then did construction in highschool...but suprisingly, im more sore from my current retail job than my heavy labor construction job! The constant standing is so painful on my shins, back, and feet that I'm hobbling by the end of my shift...and I'm 18. Being a chubby 6"0 tall girl definitely has it's disadvantages. So, in an attempt to survive so I can make it out of this job still making well into the lower class pay range, I found a few helpful tips to stay awake and pain free...ish while on the job.

1. Pace yourself. Don't be a snail, but you don't have to sprint the isles every time you get paged

2. Take 2 Ibuprofen tabs, before and after work, 2x a day (adjust for height and weight). As soon as your body gets used to the activity, make sure to reduce or eliminate meds...it isn't healthy for your liver, heart, or immune system to live on tylenol.

3. YOGA (Or stretch if you think yoga is weird)

4. Work out. Do something for at least 15 mins every day. I bike to and from work, and do yoga in the mornings. Im going to add weight training soon as well.

5. Eat a balanced diet. I have made the mistake far too many times of forgetting to eat until halfway through the shift, and then drinking a large coffee and eating some chips and a protein bar. I woke up in cold sweats with severe nausea the next day.

This is what my ideal day of eating looks like (I rarely accomplish it)

Breakfast: Protein, veggies and coffee
Lunch: Veggies, Whole wheat/grains and some veggie protein
Snack: quick carbs and some fruit
Supper: whole wheat/grains/carbs, low protein, veggies, and tea
**water throughout the day. I like to drink at least 8 cups**

**the next half of this article is sarcasm. Do not EVER do any of these things. Ever.**

6. Ignore the pain. Just push it until you crash, then take a day off and pretend to go to the doctor when you're really just self medicating with a caffeine IV and painkillers.

7. If your feet hurt, just put them in freezing ice water, then transfer them to extremely hot water.( I just made that up off of the top of my head, so you probably should never do that.)

8. Inhale cinnamon in dangerously large doses. Make sure it's through the nose...the burning and choking mean that its working!

9. Sleep all weekend and stay up all week. The hours you lose can easily be gained back on the weekend. Oh, and make sure you use sleeping pills! These two methods are key to completely screwing with your sleep cycle.

10. Drink at leat 5 cups of coffee. You might develop heart palpitations, a-fib, or die, but the sacrifice is worth it. You NEED 4 jobs to make it in this world... just do it!