Sunday, October 16, 2016

What should I do with my life?


          I took the step of moving out of my parent's house a week after I turned 18. I have a passion for creating music and online content, but I have had a dream of becoming a psychologist since I was 13. When I was 10, I thought I had my entire life planned out ahead of me. I would graduate high school at 16, leave home at 18 with an associates degree and attend a private college for a Master's in Psychology and counseling, take a gap year to to mission work in africa, and then move to New York or some other place not in Arkansas to get my Doctorate...all before the age of 27...all the while maintaining my passion for music and creativity. If you haven't guessed, life happened.

          I am now 18, just finished high school, and living with my sister with nothing but a battered 1999 Dodge Caravan on it's last leg, $15, and a part time job that starts tomorrow with no idea what college I will attend by next fall...over two years past the time I thought I would be in college. I used to laugh when people told me not to hold too close to my plans and to always have a backup plan, but now I wish I had listened. I had a 3.97 GPA in high school, and a great ACT score, but none of that matters! I don't even know if I want to pursue Psychology anymore. I'm completely broke, confused and more exited than ever to start figuring out my life one day at a time.

          I'm writing this to sort out my own mind and just get all of my options on the table. So, here are all of my plans: (in no particular order)

Plan A: Work two jobs and produce as much content online as possible for a year, and then attend a state school for 4 years.

Plan B: Work one job while taking my basics at a community college while applying for every cheap school out of state in West Virginia, New York and California and hope that one likes me.

Plan C: Work at the Dollar Store for the rest of my life and pursue my passions on the side while letting my dreams slowly die because I'm too scared to chase them.

Plan D: Work as much as possible until fall and then attend an out-of-state university for Psychology and pursue my passions on the side.

Plan E: Move to Canada, live on the streets, and become a street performer... at least then I will be able to get emergency medical care.

Plan pipe-dream: Work as hard as I can on my music and entertainment passions (while still remaining financially responsible and going for at least a Bachelor's degree in whatever) until one day I get discovered and never have to worry about sewing up my old Walmart clothes again.

          I'm absolutely lost. I'm clueless! I don't know what to do with my life... and I love it.

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